Nice or too nice …?

Through the years I’ve come to witness or  be involved in friendships between women. I'd call this , in a very simple way , something like “friend or enemy ” / be “nice or too nice” with the other.

For a start, I’ve had a looot of  " best friends forever" . Like forever and and ever, but it was just untill a short period of time , eventually. They were all different personalities. That’s exactly why I kept seeing only some , very few, all that the years have past.  Not just because we’ve had trouble getting along, but because of situations  that grew us apart , due to our opinions  and decisions . After all , female friendship is such a complex thing to pull together. I don’t even know if it’s for real. It all seems to be only for the times when the two friends aprove of each other’s actions and decisions. Aprove, even though , only in words , but not in believe. We, women , seem to join each other in company , in order to defend our situations, to look for aproval, and any other way of things to evolve, is the wrong way. The BFF is no such any more. Maybe this is not really the best way to be as a friend. Maybe a friend means to very delicately explain your own opionion and judgement, without hurting or disconsidering the view of the other. After all one knows herself what’s best . Yes, sometimes it’s not obvious , but as the things go on , she will find the decision to make. If it is the wrong one… who knows?.. But it should be made on her own. As if not to immitate another and listen to the dot , what the other advises.  This is as if somebody else rather than ourselves knows what is best for us.  We know, and only we do. It is just hidden somewhere , deep in our minds and souls. Just need a bit of confidence and trust in ourselves and it will all come together.

So, sometimes, too nice will hurt . As in trying to hard to help that friend. I’ve heard that women don’t ask for solutions, when talking, they just want to talk and to be listened to, paid attention to. Because they ( we) might know from the start what we want, maybe sometimes it is to hard to go and get it. These said, maybe it’s better to respect the other and speak out only when asked . And if asked, say it delicately.

All this would be worth , if the friend is one that is  dear to us and really deserves this attention and consideration.  But if the reaction is not the one expected and the friend becomes just some randome aquaintance , then she is not worth the friendship. The good thing that it became obvious , the way the other person is for real. At least you khow now. Just be nice to others  and too nice only to yourself and  it will all come together.

After all , this is the way I think, either this or that.   Really… no in between. Because “in between” tends to lean towards “that” . Meaning “no” – “no, I don’t care anymore”.